


SFW Ghost Drabbles!

by GasolineGhuleh



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Other, just general mischief, nonsense abound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26239855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GasolineGhuleh/pseuds/GasolineGhuleh
Summary: May include NSFW slight mentions or jokes, but none of these will contain explicit material.There will not be many of these.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	1. Teaching Dew

Dew is sitting with his feet kicked up on the table, arms behind his head with a cocky grin. Both Ghoulettes are staring at him with twin expressions of confusion mixed with mirth, while Swiss howls with laughter in the corner. Rain only peeks up from his book before going back to it, shaking his head slightly.

“Dew... Fuckin’ say that again, man. Holy shit.” Swiss wipes tears of laughter off of his mask, chest heaving as he holds back more.

“I said get milfed, man. Haven’t you heard that? All the kids say it nowadays.” Cirrus can’t hold it back any longer, letting out a high pitched keen of laughter before Cumulus elbows her, shutting her up quickly.

“Dude that does /not/ mean what you think it means. What... what do you think it means, exactly?” Swiss tugs a chair from the table, flipping it around deftly and sitting in it backwards. He’s very clearly holding back more laughter, mouth spasming with the suppressed giggles. 

“Means get fucked, man. What else could it mean?” This time it’s Cumulus who lets go, throwing her head back and laughing uproariously, holding onto Cirrus who’s also doubled over. They cling to each other as they stagger out of the room, calling for Aether and Mountain, presumably to tell him what’s happened to their little Fire Ghoul. 

“So...so you think milf is another word for fuck?” Swiss coughs into his hand, only barely stifling another laugh.

“Yes, dude. Look, it’s not my fault you’re not up with the kids.” Rain finally slaps his book down onto the table, leaning back to look out the door before moving forward and staring at Dew.

“It means ‘mom I’d like to fuck’, Dew. Come on. You of all people should know this.” Rain squints at Dew before shaking his head, picking his book back up and going back to reading. 

Distantly from down the hall, the girls and Aether’s laughter is audible, shrieking loudly.


	2. Say Cheese!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa iii and yourself on a prank spree throughout the Abbey.

The two of you skid neatly around the corner, the wheels in your shoes skipping along the stone floor with hardly a sound. Papa Emeritus the Third turns his head to look at you, holding up the package in his hand with a raised eyebrow. He jerks his head to the end of the hall, where the large door to the Papal sitting room is open, the silhouette of his older brother outlined against the roaring fire. 

“Terzo, if we get caught doing this, you know we’re going to be punished to Heaven and back.” He only gives you a mischievous smile, taking your hand in his and dragging you on your heels across the floor with his own. The Heelys had been his idea, but you have to admit to yourself that getting around the Abbey has never been easier. Papa wheels the two of you over the wall, crouching by the door and tugging you down with him. 

“The punishment will be well worth it, eh? The look on his face if we can do this… I don’t think I’ll ever recover.” Papa turns the package over in his hands, opening it swiftly and silently. The two of you have been on a pranking spree the past few days, and there seems to be no stopping your dynamic duo of chaos. 

With the Ghouls, Papa had suggested lighting something of Rain’s on fire to watch him attempt to blame Dew for it- this had backfired when Rain simply accepted the torched shirt and went to sleep. The Ghoulettes, however, had been sent on a rampage when you and Papa left a note on their keytar explaining that Dew had used it for practice. You doubt the poor Fire Ghoul will ever fully recover from the yelling.

Sister Imperator, for her part, seemed to be alright with the notion of the two of you pranking the Clergy. She had only made it very clear to you that she was never to be a target, and she wouldn’t tattle on you to your victims. Papa had a great idea to change the music in her car, but you nixed it due to your unspoken agreements. You have a feeling this particular prank may be your last, due to the target the two of you had chosen.

Most affected so far was by and wide his father, Papa Nihil. The two of you had found some citric acid and put it onto the mouthpiece of his favourite saxophone, as well as filling his Crocs with shaving cream when he fell asleep in the library. As for pranking the other members of the higher Clergy, Terzo had approached you with a box of itching powder and bouncing eyebrows. You agreed quickly and he helped to sneak you into Papa Emeritus the First’s chambers, distracting his older brother as you sprinkled the dust into his mitre. It wasn’t much longer afterwards that the two of you lazed against a stone wall, rolling your heels as you watched a practical stampede of Ghouls running towards his chambers with water and soap. Papa had merely nudged you with his elbow and nodded towards the door where you now stood, after doing a few innocent laps around the Abbey first. 

Papa leans around the door frame and comes back quickly. He mimes reading a newspaper before putting a hand over his mouth and stifling a rather unpapal-like giggle. With surgical precision he peels a slice of the (disturbingly) yellow cheese free of the packet, holding it flat in his palm. Papa looks at you, arching an eyebrow and holding the package out to you as well. You take a piece of cheese as well and he sets the package down on the stone floor.

“Ready?” he mouths silently to you. You give him a sharp nod and stand with him as the two of you glide forward silently and slowly on your Heelys, struggling to hold back giggles. “Now!” Papa shouts as both of you throw the cheese slices with surgical precision onto the back of Papa Emeritus the Second’s bald head. 

Secondo jerks forward in his hair before standing and whirling around quickly, throwing his newspaper to the side. His eyes seem to glow with rage as he starts to move around the chair, hands outstretched towards you. One of the slices of cheese falls from his head to the ground with an oddly wet sounding /plapff/. 

“Hah! That was yours! I win!” Terzo laughs, grabbing your hand and running the two of you down the hall. From behind you, you can hear Secondo roaring in anger as he gives chase. “Split up! I’ll find you later,” Papa yells, rolling back onto his own heels and flying down the hall opposite you. You do the same, your habit flying behind you as you pick up speed, no longer able to stop the tears of laughter rolling down your face.

Finally you duck into an alcove and give up, doubling over and heaving with laughter as you do so. A moment later there’s a slight shriek and a scraping noise as Terzo ducks into the same alcove from the other end, also collapsing in laughter. He sees you and motions you over, bringing a finger to his lips and shaking silently.

“He’s behind me, Sister! Hush!” Papa holds onto your hands tightly, peeking out of the alcove just as Secondo runs past it, his robes flapping behind him. When Papa points to the piece of cheese still on the back of his head you dissolve into shrieking laughter again as he yells, “I still win!”


	3. Darts!

“Copia you can’t just do what you want! I don’t care if you’re the leader of the Clergy now, that’s NOT how this works!” Cardinal Copia stands before you, towering over you in his red suit with his hands on his hips. He’s glowering at you, most of the makeup around his eyes wiped off in his frustration. 

“Well too bad, that’s what I want to do, so that’s what we’re doing.”

“But those aren’t the rules!” You’re keenly aware of how exasperated you sound, but you’re well beyond caring at this point. 

“I make the rules, so I get to decide when to break them.” He states flatly. His eyes narrow further as he brings his hands back to his chest, cracking his knuckles swiftly.

“You didn’t make THOSE rules!” You practically yell, jabbing a finger towards the wall. 

“Well I did- just now. That’s how this is going to work. I win, and that’s it.” Copia huffs at you before turning and walking over the the wall. With a grunt he pulls his dart out of the wall and stalks back over to you, pointing at the wall over his shoulder. “I indented my dart into the wall, not the board. That’s hard to do. That’s ten points.”

“Jesus Christ, dude.” You groan, exasperated. You lean over and put your hands on your knees, breathing out a stabilizing breath before finally standing and hurling your dart. It sticks in the wall.

“Okay that’s five points, because it’s the wrong panel.”


	4. Copia Comforting You

“You okay, love?” Copia stands at the end of the bed, leaning forward and putting his hands on your ankles lightly. “You see different this morning. What’s on your mind?” You turn slightly and look at him- so soft and concerned, the small furrow between his brow is defined. 

“I’m just worried about stuff, Copia. What’s happening? I feel like I can’t move anymore without something negative happening. It’s scary. This world scares me now, I don’t recognize anything around me.” You can feel tears threatening to fall down your cheeks and you scramble up into a seated position, drawing your knees to your chest. 

“Oh, my heart, I understand.” Copia puts a knee on the bed, wobbling slightly as he tries to regain his balance. He grins at you before crawling completely onto the bed and flopping next to you. One hand comes out and strokes your cheek softly. “Things are scary now. I don’t blame you for being unsure of things. It’s a weird world, eh?”

You sniff a little and nod, leaning into his hand and smiling despite yourself. His thumb caresses your cheekbone softly as his other hand comes forward and pulls you down into his lap, resting you gently on his thigh and beginning to stroke your hair. His gloves are off and the feeling of his warm skin carding through your hair is almost instantly relaxing.

“Things are going to happen, yeah? We can’t control a lot of the things around us. We just have to let fate take the reins sometimes and hope that it guides us properly. But love, I promise you-” He tilts your head towards him and makes pointed eye contact, his face soft. “You’ll never be alone as long as I’m here, okay?” He leans down and presses a swift to your forehead.

“That was barely even a kiss–!” You start before he huffs out a laugh and leans down again, pressing a more insistent kiss to your lips before sitting back up. Copia runs his thumb along your lower lip softly.

“There. How was that one? Grounding enough? You’re mine, and I’m yours, and this world is ours for the taking. We just have to let it sort itself out, eh?”


	5. Papa i, and Some Comfort.

The tissue box is empty, but luckily your tear ducts seem to be too. Your head is pounding and you know you should be hydrating, but part of you can’t seem to care at the moment. With a small, pitiful groan you sink deeper into your bedding, closing your eyes. They burn and you don’t want to keep them open any longer. 

A small rap sounds on your door before it creaks open. You don’t bother opening your eyes. Maybe if you pretend to be asleep, they’ll get the hint and leave you alone. 

It’s only a moment later that you feel your bed sink slightly as someone sits beside you. By the smell of incense and soil you know it’s Papa Emeritus the First. Something is set down on your nightstand and it sounds like glass. His hand comes out and touches your head softly, only lightly carding through your hair. 

“Beautiful bird, what’s got your wings clipped, hm?” You answer him only with a sniffle and some further burrowing into your comforter. “Tsk, tsk. Don’t hide from Papa. Come on, tell me of your troubles.” 

You peek up and see that his expression is one of concern, not mockery. Slightly emboldened by this you move the covers from your face and sit up slightly, resting on your pillows. You drag the back of your hand across your eyes and sniffle once before you speak.

“It’s just hard, Papa. That’s all.”

“No, no. That is not all, obviously. Look.” He gestures to what he’s set on your nightstand: a large glass of ice water and a vase of flowers, in a multitude of colours. “See the flowers, little bird? Each one a different colour? So are the days we live. Every day is different, and we must appreciate each one for what it it is, hm?” 

“I... I don’t know what you mean, Papa.” Still, you look at the flowers, your gaze not leaving them as he continues.

“It means that some days, you feel like a beautiful violet. Ready to bloom and take on the world. Other days you feel like an orchid. Perhaps you feel terrible about yourself, but surely someone will appreciate the beauty that you have.” Papa tilts your face towards his and smiles softly. “Today is an orchid day, yes? But I see you as my violet. Soon, you will as well.” 

“Thank you,” you manage to whisper. Papa stands to leave and taps his finger on the rim of the ice water glass.

“Water yourself, dear. Every flower needs water and a loving environment. You cannot provide the last one right now, but I can.” He leaves without a further word, clicking your door softly behind him.

It’s a long while before you drink from the glass, but you finish it when you do. 

A different colour tomorrow, you promise yourself.


	6. Shutting Up Dew!

Your head gives an almighty throb again as Dew scoots his bench across the stone floor once more. The cafeteria was blissfully empty save for you, Dew, Cirrus and Rain, but that doesn’t stop Dew from speaking as though the room was full of bustling people.

“--so I told him, I said, ‘Papa, you can’t fuckin’ tell me what to do, you dick!’ And--”

“You did that? You called him a dick?” Rain levels a flat look towards Dew, stabbing his raw steak and biting a hunk out of it as he does so. Cirrus and Rain exchange a glance and half smiles-- they’ve clearly been on the end of his exaggerated stories a few too many times before. Dew is visibly flustered for a moment before he recovers, talking louder to cover his embarrassment. 

“Yeah! I sure fuckin’ did! I looked him right in the eye and I called him--”

“A dick. We heard you.” Cirrus flicks her eyes towards you with an apologetic smile, taking a sip of her own beverage and turning back to Dew. “Dew, we all know you’re not going to call the Third a dick to his face.”

“Yeah, well. I’d think about it.” Dew deflates quickly, picking at his ground beef on his plate. 

“Do you know how to sit quietly and think, Dew?” You can’t help it-- you’ve had a long ass day and Dew’s loud speaking isn’t helping your tension headache. The chapel doesn’t clean itself, and you’re exhausted/

“What? Of course I do! I’m the best at sittin’ and thinkin’!” Dew stands up, failing completely to illustrate his point. “Can you believe this Sister?! Thinkin’ I can’t be quiet for longer than--” You snap.

“DEW. Sit down, and shut the fuck up!” There’s a moment of stunned silence from the other two Ghouls before Dew sits back down quickly, tending to his meal with his eyes fixed firmly on his plate. You feel a little smug. 

Rain blinks widely at you as Cirrus leans across the table, placing her hand on top of yours.

“I’m gonna need you to teach me that.”


	7. Papa In The Pumpkin Patch

The wind whips across your face, scattering the pieces of your hair that you don’t have secured under the beanie. Your hands are warm in the pockets of your pea coat, at least, and your boots and thick leggings are keeping the rest of you warm. Beside you, Terzo looks out of place in his expensive looking Winter attire against the brown and orange backdrop of the pumpkin patch. 

“Are you sure this is what they do?” He raises an eyebrow at you and watches as you delicately hop over some vines on the ground, growing from an errant pumpkin. 

“Yes, Papa. We pick a pumpkin and take it home, and then we carve it up!” You pull your hand out of your coat pocket and point to a large one, not too far away. The gourd is almost perfectly round with a large, fat stem. He follows your finger to look at it, walking over carefully in his pristine shoes. 

“This one? This is eh… perfect?” He crouches in front of the pumpkin, looking at it curiously. 

“Yup!” You raise your arm and wave to the patch owner, signaling that you’ve found your prize gourd. Soon enough, he’s on his way over to you with a wheelbarrow and some shears to cut it free. “You never did this with you parents or anything, Papa? It’s a really common tradition, especially for Halloween.”

“No.” Papa stands up, watching the patch owner make his way slowly towards you. “No, I didn’t. Father never paid us attention. Mother died when I was young. Secondo was too busy taking care of me already to bother with… additional things.” He clears his throat and looks down at you, and you feel your heart shatter slightly in your chest. 

“Well… I can show you all of those additional things, if you want me to.” You reach out and give his hand a slight squeeze, just as the patch owner rocks up.

“This one, folks?” 

“Si, per favore… and the one beside it, too.” Papa turns to you and says, with a smile, “I will need my own if I am to learn this, right? One to do together, and one for Papa to do!”

“Right, Papa. We can stop at the store on the way back to the Abbey and pick up some stuff for hot chocolate, and maybe rent a movie!” The patch owner cocks his head towards you as he deposits the first pumpkin into his wheelbarrow.

“Abbey? You mean that monastery up on them hills? Never see anyone come outta there anymore. Thought it was abandoned.” He takes off his hat and wipes the slight sweat of effort off of his forehead before bending to the second pumpkin. “I didn’t know y’all folks were religious.”

“Of a sort,” you say with a coy smile to Papa. He tosses a wink at you.

“Perhaps we could pick up The Exorcist. A good religious movie for the time of year, I think, Sister.” 

The two of you laugh quietly to yourselves as the patch owner clearly struggles to remain silent, leading the way out of the patch. On the drive home, you fill Terzo in on some of the other holiday traditions that you did as a child, and he tells you which ones he’s done. There aren’t many. Together, you make a list of the ones to be tackled next.


	8. Comfort From Mary

You tossed your third used tissue into the bin next to your nightstand, grabbing another one quickly as the tears threatened to spill down your face again. The only thing that stops you from diving headlong into another full-bodied sob is the creak of your window getting shoved in from the fire escape outside. A single converse sneaker connected to a skinny jean clad leg pokes through, two arms following as Mary lurches through your window. 

He lands cleanly with a soft ‘hup!’ and turns to shut the window before he addresses you. Instantly his eyes flicker from the bin, to the tissue box, to the tissue in your hands, to your eyes. His forehead wrinkles slightly as he frowns and moves forward, hands up in a careful motion.

“You okay? What happened today, man? I’m sorry if I missed something!” He sits carefully beside you on your bed, moving your blanket across your legs as he does so. 

“It’s just a shitty time, Mare. I’m sick of everything. I get punched every direction I turn.” You hiccough a little, stifling it with the tissue and squeezing your eyes shut as another tear threatens to break free. Your eyes are burning and your lungs ache, but the cry itself was cathartic. “I’ll be alright.” 

“You called me Mare. That’s usually a signal of you having a Really Bad Time.” You can hear the emphasis in his voice and you smile a little, cracking an eye open to look at him. He runs a hand through his hair quickly before slapping his thighs and standing up. “A’ight. I’m makin’ pancakes. You still got that whipped cream flavoured vodka? I’m gonna do some science.” 

“Don’t destroy my kitchen, dude.” You wad up your last tissue and throw it in the bin, clearing your throat and tugging your blanket higher up your body as you watch Mary. He smells comforting- cigarettes, dirt, makeup and leather. 

“I’m not gonna! I’ve cooked enough. Not in the past year or so, but I can make it work. It’ll be good, you’ll see.” There’s a brief moment of silence before Mary bends down quickly and presses a messy kiss to your forehead. “You’re my girl, ya know?”

“...I know.” You watch as he flushes slightly, your heart warm. He nods, mumbling something about ‘damn right’ before he turns and heads to your kitchen. 

The rest of the night is spent cuddled next to Mary on your bed, watching old horror movies and eating some (attempts at) pancakes


	9. Dew's A Nervous Ghoul

“Just talk to her, Dew.” Rain barely looks up from fiddling with his bass guitar as he addresses the smaller Ghoul, exasperation clear in his voice. “Tell you like how she is, and just go from there.”

“Yes,” Mountain chimes in, his gravelly voice rumbling from his chest.

“Thanks, Mountain. Needed your input, man.” Dew kicks his legs up onto the table and sighs, running his hands over his mask. “She just makes me feel things. I don’t know how to tell her that shit.” 

“Dew, here’s what you do... hah!” Swiss circles the table to sit down heavily in the chair beside Dew, throwing his legs up in a mockery of him. “Didn’t mean to rhyme, but that’s on me. Anyway, tell her she makes your heart sing, dude. You love how she smells after you’re together... sweet and nice, yeah? You love seeing her when she’s awake.” 

“Yeah, I... I guess?” Dew groans and gets to his feet, shuffling towards the door. “Why girls gotta be so fuckin’ hard, man?” 

“Cause they’re worth it,” Rain intones quietly, strumming a jaunty bass line as Dew exits.

\--

“Hey!” Dew runs after the Sister he’s interested in, skidding around her quickly to stand in front of her. “Hey. I, uh. I caught you.” She giggles quietly, eyes skirting the ground as she flushes.

“You sure did, Dew... Did you need something?” 

“Yeah. Uh, shit.” He scratches the back of his head self consciously before continuing. “I... like you? Fuck, I mean--” He cuts himself off with a frustrated groan, screwing his eyes shut and trying again. “I LIKE HOW SMELL WHEN YOU’RE AWAKE.”

“Thank you? I think?” She blinks a few times in confusion. “You’ve smelled me when I’m asleep?”

“Yes. I mean no. I mean- fuck. Just be mine, yeah?” For a moment, Dew is grateful for the mask to hide his surely blushing cheeks. There’s a moments pause before the Sister bursts out laughing.

“You were trying to ask me out? And you decided to tell me you /like how I smell/??” She dissolves into hearty giggles, clutching Dew’s vest for balance as she threatens to fall over. “I mean, yes, but like. Dew, my guy. We gotta work on that, man. Holy shit.”


	10. Long Distance Lover

The phone finally rings, an hour later than expected, and your heart jumps into your throat as you spring up from your armchair and dive for the heavy rotary. You pick it up in the middle of the second ring, your hand closing around the handset even as your palm is slick with nervous sweat.

“Hello?” your voice wavers slightly as your eyes prickle with unshed tears.

“Sister? I’m sorry that I missed our call, you’ve probably been worried sick.” Copia rushes to explain himself before you cut him off with a soft laugh.

“It’s okay. I just miss you, that’s all. I know the tour is hectic, you’re going to miss a few appointment calls. I don’t mind.” There’s a beat of silence in which you hear Copia let out a relieved sigh. Some rustling follows, and you gather that he’s readjusting himself in the hotel bed. 

“I miss you too. These beds are big, and it just makes me think about my bed at home.” Copia falls silent for a moment before he gasps, asking, “Are my ratties okay?!” You laugh and lean back against the headboard of your shared bed, smiling at the urgency in your lover’s voice. 

“Yes, Copia. Your rats are well taken care of. I’m doing everything you showed me to do, and I’m telling them that you love them every single night.” You smile to yourself as you hear him sigh in contented bliss for a moment through the phone line. There’s a burst of static across the line, cutting off the first half of his next statement.

“--to be home already.”

“What? Sorry, you dropped out for a second.” You coil the phone cord around your finger, winding it around and around as you listen to him on the other side of the line. 

“I said, ‘I can’t wait to be home already’. Just a few more weeks and we can curl up by the fire and watch some good movies together.” Copia groans, his voice getting slightly muffled as he obviously runs his hand over his face. “Tonight’s show was hard, my pet. A good crowd, but… so much moving. One day I’ll kneel down to introduce my Ghouls and I won’t get back up again!” He chortles quietly, but you can hear the exhaustion in his voice. 

“You’ll do no such thing! We’ll just have to keep you limber when you get home.” You pause before continuing, unwilling to let the innuendo hang in the air. “We’ll do some yoga or some gardening. We’ll even get your Ghouls to do it with us! Satan knows we could all use the exercise, hm?” Copia sighs, a burst of static coming through the phone line again. 

“You’re right, you’re right. Of course you are.” He grumbles something to himself in Latin, and you don’t bother to ask for a translation-- you know it’s some sort of self chastising dig. “Is everything okay at home so far, Sister?” Grateful for the topic change, you latch onto his question quickly and give him a run down of the latest Abbey gossip, and your lessons that you’d been breezing through. Before too long, the clock in your bedroom chimes the hour. 

“Shit! Copia, we’ve been talking for over an hour. You need your sleep. You’ve got another show tomorrow night, don’t you?” Silence comes over the line, with a soft sound of heavy breathing. He’s fallen asleep listening to you talk, and seems to be dozing comfortably. You smile to yourself and whisper your ‘love you’s and ‘good night’s before carefully and quietly hanging up the phone. 

Standing up off of the bed, you put your hands to your lower back and stretch, cracking your spine as you rise up onto your toes. You yawn widely as you make your way towards your restroom, turning the sink on and running some water into the basin before splashing your face slightly. It’s too late for a shower, you decide, and bed is calling to you as it called to your Cardinal. 

Snuggling under your covers, you grab his pillow and bring it closely to you, inhaling his scent of sandalwood and leather. It’s always comforting to you, knowing that he’ll be home soon. Across the room, one of his rats /weeeet/s at you through the cage and you smile softly. 

Not long now, and you’ll be together again.


End file.
